Slow Learner

This week has been busy and eventful.  I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting and I think I’ve been able to recap my most valuable lessons from this week into four short points.  I’m curious what your week has taught you 🙂 Feel free to comment!

1. Stop selling yourself short.  

Once upon a time I was in a relationship and working with my partner. It started out good but grew into a toxic situation. I remember once that I had a very sweet client in, who knew my partner but was rather surprised when said partner had a temper tantrum in front of her. I had been really excited to tattoo this client, and I was worried that this embarrassing blow-out would cost me her business.  She offered to reschedule, I said I totally understood if that was her preference, but that I was fine, I was almost used to the behavior and that in all honesty my work gave me a sweet release from stress and reality. I told her that everybody should have a tortured artist, they do the best work. We proceeded to do her tattoo and it turned out great, probably one of my best scoring tattoos on social media.  That being said, now that I have distance and a new perspective, I’m happy to say that I am still producing some of my very best work, minus the torture. My shoulders and neck ache from hard work yesterday, but I’m oh so excited to finish the piece I started. In fact, I’m super excited to finish all of my in-progress pieces that I’m working on at the moment. Can’t wait to show them off! Stay tuned 🙂

2. Only good stuff gets through the door.  

I heard a quote recently.  “Please take responsibility for the energy you bring into this space.”  Folks, I think we have a new golden rule here! Since I’ve had my own little shop, I have also started taking responsibility for the energy I allow into my space. That also makes all the difference.  I think of all my spaces, the yurt is the one where when I enter I am most at ease. Home is great, but there’s so much to do still, such as a kitchen that needs to be built. The yurt is functional, small, easy to keep in order and I’ve started calm rituals that just make me feel good. Incense, candles, meditation, thoughtful reading… Old hippie I know 😉 

3. Take a look at friendships where you can’t be authentic.  

This one is tough.  I have a few people that I genuinely love but I no longer feel like I can be completely be myself with.  I self-edit to spare them details or keep them from feeling uncomfortable with my truth. But to me that’s not real friendship. It’s not fair of me to decide for them what they can and can’t handle, and in the long run it’s probably more detrimental to the friendship to go on pretending that everything is ok when it really isn’t. It’s hard to open up, be vulnerable to people and possibly hurt their feelings by showing your own feelings.  I still need to work on this. I am not a “talk about the weather” kind of friend, and have no aspirations to become one. I like my people raw and unfiltered, and I like to be that way in my friendships as well. No BS, no pussy-footing around issues. I am practicing the art of diplomacy, but authenticity HAS to be present in my friendships, otherwise they stop feeling real.

4. Stop thinking discomfort is the norm.  

Why did I say yes to that party? It’s because I love the hostess, am super proud of her and her successful business which she was celebrating.  But I knew that one of the people who makes me the most uncomfortable on the planet would be there. I’m talking stress shooting through your body uncomfortable.  Almost a PTSD reaction. I tell myself to suck it up, it’s not about that person, it’s about the hostess. I bring a friend (yes, little miss independent me even had the foresight to see that this would not be comfortable and that I needed help.  Help! Me! I asked for it and I got it!! See, I am learning! Thank you Franny xoxox) I tell myself I will survive this, and I did. I tell myself that it will all be fine and drama free, and it was. Today I tell myself I will never do that again, and I won’t.  Last night when I got home my body was chilled to the bone, like in a state of shock. The stress was coursing through my veins. I had a belly ache but wanted to shovel junk food into my face. I do not have to put myself through this, and I will not again. I had tried to give myself every reason to go, friendship, overlapping businesses, not wanting to be chased away by an undesired presence etc.  But guess what? I’ve also been dreaming of a drama free life. Throwing myself into shark infested waters is hardly the path to drama free living. 

Uncategorized

angelaheis View All →

I’m a traveling tattoo lady who loves to keep her hands and mind busy.

2 Comments Leave a comment

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: